Archive for the 'Humor' Category

Wrong numbers

When I lived with my parents in Maryland, I tried my hand at operating my own web design business, Oak Lawn Design, after the torrent of oak leaves that fall every year from the ~50 trees on my parents’ 9/10ths of an acre. I set up a website, got a business phone line, a toll free number, a fake fax number from eFax, and an ad in a local business directory.

I think I got maybe three real calls from that ad in two years. One was a kid asking if I was hiring. Another was a real client, but it was too little, too late — they called after I’d decided to stop trying and close down.

Anyway, I had a really nice, easy-to-remember phone number. I had it forwarded to my cell phone, and kept it for a long time after letting O.L.D. slide. It seems that lots of people before me had it, though, judging from the kinds of wrong numbers I got.

To date, I’ve recieved calls from people looking for:

  • “Household Financial”
  • Oak Lawn Memorial Cemetery (not sure how they got that from Design)
  • Some motel (Caller: “Room 214, please.” Me: “What?”)
  • Someone named Bridget. Bridget has a lot of friends.
  • An animal hospital. An older lady ignored my recorded greeting and left me a message asking if we had any dogs that nobody wanted, because she needed a companion. I’m ashamed to say I didn’t call her back.

And that doesn’t even include all the people that called to ask me to do their landscaping. Next time I start a business, I’m going to do more thinking about what to call it.

Haiku IM fun

Tim was all proud of himself for composing a haiku away message:

I have Time to kill-
What ever shall I do now?
Play some basketball.

So I countered with my own:

My work is postponed.
Sitting at the computer
I am eating lunch.

And the following conversation ensued (edited for punctuation and IM line order issues):

Me: I may do all my away messages in haiku.

Tim:    you do that
Tim:    i’ll match you

Me:  Every single one.
    All of them will be haikus.
    You may if you like.
    
Tim:    ha.

Me:  (that was one, too!)
Me: plural of haiku = haiku?

Tim:    I noticed, I did.
    You are very clever now.
    I don’t think so, no.
    
Me:  I suspect something.
    Are you counting on your hands?
    ‘Cause for sure I was.
    
Tim:    Haha, you are right.
    I need to stop this now, yes.
    
Me:  One more line you need,
    Then your haiku will be done.
    
Tim:    I play AOE.

Me:  Go play your game now.

Tim:    This is so much fun.
    I do not want to stop, ever.
    But we must sometimes.
    
Me:  I know. Isn’t it?
    I must tell Jennifer.
    She will do it too.
    
Tim:    She will love it much.
    She won’t be able to stop,
    Just like we cannot.
    
Me:  Stop starting haikus!
    I think you are too smart, my friend.
    You are just like me.
    
Tim:    I am cracking up.
    This is not good at all.
    I am leaving now.
    
Me:  I am laughing too.
    I can’t keep from making these.
    One more line I need.
    
Me: There.

Tim:    haha.

Tim:    Enough of that junk.

Me:  AUGH
Me: stop it.